I am running as fast as I can. I am breathless, but numb… can’t stop, I know if I stop I won’t run again and so I run. Harder and harder with every step but there is no one behind me, I know that as well, so why am I running? Who am I running from? I don’t answer that question, all I do is run… the enemy is in my head, laughing at me as if there is no use… all this running is for nothing. He can catch me whenever he wants, he is playing with me. I am a toy, a broken, numb, scared and dying toy. I am running from that voice in my head. It’s hypnotizing. It’s getting me scared, so scared.
I don’t realize when I fall on the ground hard, hoping to lose consciousness, hoping to make it quick. My eyes remain open and mind focused. It’s that voice.  I try to get up, but for some reason I am not able to, that’s when I hear him piercing through my skin, “its just a voice” I tell myself, but I am not able to believe my own words. It speaks, slowly as if savouring the moment, “You lost. You have always lost. Weak. You let people tell you what to do, you are nothing, but a toy.” I try to debate but I feel no air and I know it’s true. After a painfully long second it continues, “Want help? No one is there but me and I am not here to save you. I am here to take you where you belong. You belong among the dead. You have given up.” Then it laughs louder till I shut my eyes and hold my hands to my ears, the voice is not from outside, it’s within, in me. I have made an enemy in me. After a moment the voice stops, making the whole world around me to standstill. After what felt like forever, I open my eyes and see a figure right there in front of me. It’s someone I know, but can’t place him in my memory. I feel myself asking, “Who are you?” the figure only nods making no attempt to answer and then disappears leaving me all on my own.

As always I am alone. I stand and notice my surroundings change. It’s bright, I hate bright. I feel like a coward when I see light. It forces me to see the truth, the truth of me, of my existence. I don’t belong here, I am an extra, a person of no significance. I wish that voice had taken me where I really belonged, but then someone saved me. The voice was wrong, I wasn’t alone. The man I saw saved me and I knew he was nothing but me. The part of me who wants to live, who wants to correct my existence and I let it. I live…

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