Pretending to think that I am the only lone person in this planet to face such a heartbreak would be false. I know many face this part of heart treatment, I did too. My story is same as many. I share the same old tradition. She left me. Well leaving is not the problem really. I have never demanded her to stay, I just always hoped she would. Every other day when I saw her my hope kept piling up. But now that she is gone, I want to destroy that pile. There is always this one thing which remains stuck in my mind though, I am still holding onto a small piece of hope hanging there, somewhere in my head. Expecting the fact, and still hoping for the reverse to happen is not avoidable. Sometimes I hope that what people say is true, that when someone very close to us leaves, our heart breaks down into million pieces, making it difficult to breath and unable to smile. Atleast then this unbearable pain would leave. It’s being so long, almost a decade and I am still stuck at the same day when she left without a goodbye. That hurt bad. It feels like the time has never really started for me.

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When I see someone happy, I keep thinking why can’t they see my pain? It’s so huge and obvious to me, that it still surprises me that people around me don’t feel like I do. If my heart was broken, then the amount of time that passed would have made me numb to the feeling. Instead there is a swelling, like a huge tumor, when someone touches, it pains and it does not even stop after a long time. It keeps paining until I am able to ignore it which has till date never happened. I hope it was broken, that would have saved me all this time from myself. This whole heart is filled with betrayal and anger and love. There is still love which keep me on check, keeps reminding what I lost and what I did not get. I was not angry on her. The only thing that caused this unusual swelling was because she did not even consider telling me why… I would have begged for her to stay, but then she left like it was all a dream, a fragment of my thoughts, that all those days with her were nothing. I really hope it was broken… at least I knew pieces can be mended back, but this pain it feels like it belongs to me, that its part of me…