I feel it. The lightness in my weight, the blankness in my head and the silence in my ribs. Yes, that’s it. All the torture and the goal and all the pleasures of life is over. I am over, my time in this miserable but competitive world is done. At this moment I unconsciously remember my stay in here. I have been a horrible person, a bad father, a corrupt soul, and an inhuman human. I won’t say that I am not guilty since now I have to justify to no one, no one but myself whom I can’t even lie to not when I was aware of all my actions. The only difference now is that everything seems meaningless, the endless lies, the heartless acts and all I am left with is guilt. I could have at least saved that girl who belonged to me, though small bright eyes that looked at me like I was a human unlike others. I was always aware of my acts, waiting for this exact moment, waiting to be left to deal with my past. Having no knowledge of who I had to confront. I will be punished I knew, I had to deal with all my choices leaving not a single one behind. I hope that my brain stop functioning right now because all my thoughts are concentrated on this dreadful day when I left my little girl to die, when I dropped her alone to bear my mistakes. I could have avoided it, I tell myself every minute. That is the only one regret I have despite of all my life.
Suddenly I feel a slight pain from falling and I find myself on the ground, wearing that same shirt and I can see a red patch on it from the bullet which pierced through me. The pain is gone only that strain remains, reminding me to not forget my fate. Everything was dark, the presence of the room was also not felt. Soon I found myself suspended to a blind pain taking over my head which I hoped did not function anymore. The pain was so much, that I was tempted to bang my head to a wall and get killed second time today. I kept running and soon the hope of running into something vanished, there was nothing. Maybe I wasn’t even moving. After, which felt like forever, I heard a soft voice, “Don’t run from fate, you are responsible for all this pain.” And just like that I knew where that voice came from and who it belonged to. “Please it’s too much.” I try to talk… but I am interrupted again with excess pain. I shout so loud, begging to lose consciousness, it never happened. I cried out in pain, just me alone, just what I deserved. “You will bear it, even if that’s not what u desire, you will bear it forever, until you are under my house.” And just like that the voice vanished and that moment I realized, my time was over.