Is it easier to hold on, or to let go? Since I started, I have been holding on… so much holding… my thoughts. What do I fell? Now I fell… so many of them.

Can’t I run out of this? Out of my mind thinking what it is wrong, to be more than just a vessel for my thoughts. Thoughts I would rather flunk out… Just to let them all become a clear whir again. For me holding on is easy… Because that is what I started with, that is what I am used to…

In a place so closed, a dark room with none, I can’t even find the start of it, or the end, or the length of how long it is… Not being able to see anything, not my hands, neither my feet, neither the world itself… You might think I am blind, who else cannot see. I could see just till the moment before I was taken in, when I was separated. You ask me: “Separated from who?” I answer: “I do not remember.” I tried to hold on any thoughts, but that was easy… was it the best for me… Taking myself away from a group that did not see me. Was it because it was easy for me to hold on? Or was It because I was just there physically?  But, if you asked me, I did not feel I was part of it. Now I am here, my life before fells like it has never happened. Was it my imagination or was it something I left behind? Life was no the best before, is it better now? Is the dark room my new friend? Hiding all the secrets of my life, making me more vulnerable, hiding my mistakes. This is all I have, how might as well hold on…

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